Second Year High School life.... (Part 1)

Second year high school life... 

Since 1st grading... i had fun with my sophomore life...

bonding with friends and "barkadas". 

but my second year life is somehow like others. laughing with friends, sleeping every biology time, chatting with seatmates, being a "giraffe", bring in love, having new friends.

but this time... i met a certain person. i wont tell the name. but she's a girl... 

She made me smile when i faced difficult things.

She made me laugh, when i felt like crying.

but those things were just trash.

she became my best friend for like... 7 months, and then i got pissed of her actions towards me.

i'll start from the time that we became friends...

but before we became friends, we were common enemies. when i was in grade six. their group "GACHA", is one of the group that picked on me. that person came from that group. but then, she and i became friends, because of a certain group message game. if im her friend, she will reply, "pst". if she's my best friend, she has to reply "cute". so.. i replied cute. she replied shockingly if i did send the correct word. and yes, i did send the correct word. at that time. we called each other "cute". then it became "cuteii". after that night, when she send that message, when we got to school, i called her "cuteii" so she called me the cuteii too. at that time we became best friends. then, a guy came... she asked if who the hell is cute. i yelled "ako! may angal?!". he didn't say a word. but i really think that he was jealous. i dont know why, but i could sense the anger coursing through his veins. then, he became my rival. every time i seat beside HER, HE gets pissed and would just be lonely and be silent somewhere far from us. then SHE would say that he is always jealous if we're bonding with each other. then, every time i ask her, "may chansa man na sya sa imo?" she would reply, "ambut?". i feel so sorry for HIM that she's, for my own outlook, just using HIM. but me and HIM have been rivals since then. im just waiting for HIM to make the first move, so that i could mash HIS face into something dirty, or just simply beating the tar out of him... im just going to skip at the time that SHE and i slowly broke our friendship....

Since Grade Six... Until now...

Since Grade six...

when i was in the sixth grade. i used to be bullied around by some classmates of mine. from first grading to third grading, i was bullied by the same group of people. they keep on calling me "emo!", "patay!", because i was to white then and i loved the color black and i always love listening to screamo, hard rock, and punk genre of music.

i used to eat alone inside the classroom and silently listen to my punk rock band, My Chemical Romance, and slipknot. these bands  are one of my best friends... 

while i listen to  music, i bang my head up and down and make my bangs flip up and down as i feel the beat of the music. when they cameback and saw me banging my head, they would do the rock n' roll sign and put it their mouth and put out their tongue and insult me... then it came to the point where i got pissed and i started to fight back. when they stopped calling me names. they said that i was their "friend". i mean, why would they insult me if i was their friend? how foolish. so i never accepted their sorry and didn't became their friend. then, those bullies bullied another student. that student is named Jenema Gabrielle Fernandez. a cute, nice girl that always smiles. my classmate Dylan Celis, became her boyfriend. maybe some of girl classmates got jealous and they started to call her "flirt". its not nice to here them calling her flirt, because i already felt how she feels  whenever they call her names. as i looked at her eyes, her tears began to flow. i felt so sorry for her, and i couldn't bare looking at her get humiliated. and Dylan didn't even try to stop those people who are insulting her. so.. i talked to her and said. "don't worry, i will change whats happening tomorrow." then she thanked me. i smiled and slept happily. then when morning came, i got excited to protect her... then when she entered the room. i saw a smile on her face. :) and then those bullies called her flirt again. i stood up angrily and yelled, "kung kamo gani amhon na ma hipos man kamu kag mag hinibi. teh matyag niyo mayo na?". they stopped what they were doing and they stopped bullying her since then. at that time, she became my best friend. whenever we meet we always smile at each other. and i consider her as my sister best friend. and whenever she gets picked on, i would be there to protect her. i guess you can call me "her savoir" >.< then... she's the first best friend i loved, and ever since she's my one and only "BEST"... we have that connection between friends and bf's and gf's. i call it, being best of friends. >.< today... she has a problem. she cant quite solve it yet. but i have been trying my best to help her. but whenever i want to go to her. i don't have money for public transportation. and that's why i hate that she's on another school. its very difficult not to be able to see each other. we only contact each other through text and whenever we have money and we can meet. now, she's still fighting against her problems.. and i'm still here to help her. :) and i will always be here. :))))) 

Ma'am Cherry...

Ma'am Cherry, a cancer survivor from West Visayas State University,and still smiles bloomingly.

Ma'am Cherry was a teacher of our adviser, Ma'am Bataga and she became our visitor or talker for this day.

she had a beautiful hair. color brown with a touch of red at every strand. 

she talked about being a good leader or finding the leader inside us.

she was pale white and she had beautiful eyes and beautiful enthusiasm. she had courage on discussing the things we need to do for us to be the greatest leader. she then made us watch a movie about some disabled kids and adults that are being strong even if they are struggling with their daily life to make it as normal as possible. 

one movie clip showed about a "man with no limbs". the man was short and he had only one foot with 2 or 3 fingers. when this man was still a child, our teacher said that he was suppose to be aborted. but our teacher said that the pills didn't take full effect on the baby. so the baby boy was forced to be introduced to the world even if he has no limbs. the man acted like he was just one of us. normal human being, roaming in the park, brushing his own teeth, surfing the web, but it was a hard for the man to do those things, especially when you can only use your feet. the man asked "why me? out of all the people in the world." well, Ma'am Cherry said, "everybody has a purpose in life...", "god gave you a purpose in life, you just have to look for your GOAL and your MISSION". that struck me. because i always say "why am i still here? i think its better if i wasn't introduced to the world. nobody would get hurt around me, no one will bully me and i wont suffer my everyday struggles with my school and family...". then Ma'am Cherry said "a person only has one life... you should live your life to the fullest..." even if i live my life to the fullest, i still encounter my daily struggles and my life is going to be hard and uneasy. then suddenly, Ma'am Cherry made some of our classmates touch her hair. 

she made them describe how it felt, and how it looks. my classmates answered "its smooth and it looks beautiful..." we got shocked when Ma'am Cherry pulled her hair out slowly as we all popped our eyes out and felt like crying. as i looked at her, i then realized that she was facing more trials than i was. as i look at her eyes. i then thought of the man with no limbs, if he was facing the same trials as Ma'am Cherry's. i felt like crying as she discussed what she faced during her cancer days. 10 lymph nodes were taken from her arm. i forgot why. but as she keeps on smiling every time she says a word, i know that she went through hard times just so she could try to forget how it felt. i don't know why, but i feel so eager to become her friend. even if she's a teacher. her talk made me realize that i should love my friends and enemies, because i will never know when god will take them from me... i think i have to be friends with a certain girl again. i'm just waiting for her to accept me again... to accept me as her best friend again...

"BEST FRIEND"

 It wasn't a long time ago when me and my best friend, Jenema fought. its a common thing with best friends to fight about something. but some things are very dark that you must hide them  for the sake of that friend.

one day, when me and best friend went roaming around at a mall.I felt chills suddenly came from the back of my spine when I heard those words, "i still have a boyfriend". I felt like I was going to drown from the random emotions that I felt. I didn't know what to do. should I be angry at her? should I understand her?. but those emotions i felt compiled into one emotion. it made me feel ashamed. I didn't realize how stupid I was believing that she was truly honest with me since we were best friends since grade school,I thought that every time i ask her something, she tells the truth. now i doubt even if she was my best friend. 

as time pasted by, iv'e  noticed that she isn't talking nor texting to me even if she has load. i felt angry that she only said sorry trough the phone when i knew that she was still with him. i didn't feel jealous at all. its just that aggravating feeling that you feel when someone keeps a secret from you.

then. onetime. she texted me, "can we meet? i want to discuss our  fight...". i replied, "why? what for? and where?". then she replied, "come fetch me here at our shop. i'll wait for you". so I went to fetch her. as i rode the jeepney. my heart started to pound. as i looked down, strangers look at me as i sweat. it gave me more tension as I was getting nearer and nearer to their shop. as i entered there shop, she told that i should come in because her parents are not around and she's alone sitting at a plastic chair inside their shop full of car parts. as i look at her. my sweat drips across my neck as she started to open her mouth and speak. she said... "hi". i then replied "hello". as she whispered random things. i never got to listen to her daily activities that had happen for that day. i felt very a anxious for what she will say. then it came to the point where i ended up leaving her shop without a clue on what she might have said to me. the night after i went to her shop, i called her and had a conference with a friend of mine. i'm ashamed of what i said when we had that conference. i ended up almost losing my 1st loved best friend in my life. as i was privately talking to her. i felt like crying because on how she reacted on my reactions. i didn't know that she protected me from those people from her school who mocks me every time her schoolmates sees us together. i didn't know that she loved me that much. that she would lower her pride just for me. even if she has a boyfriend. she still cares for me. i don't know why she does those things for me, even if she has her own special person to care for. that made me realize that being a friend to someone means to be with her  whenever she needs you and even if she doesn't need you, you are still willing to be called a friend even if some people would start to mock you, call you names, and even pick on you. "friendship is one of the most beautiful things on earth, we need friends to share our thoughts, and share our happiness and sadness in life...